The MEH-Cigs are coming!

Dateline Autumn 2016. by Miles Dolphin

Throw away your PVs boys the M-cig has arrived.

This week two Big T companies released their new offerings of Medical E-cigs onto the market. Following the bankruptcies and closures of over forty SME businesses in the last six months since the medicalisation of e-cigs came into effect, the thriving and over-priced black market has caused over thirty deaths and countless cases of people being hospitalised for the various problems associated with the badly formulated or outright poisonous e-liquids. However the arrival of the new safer M-cig should put an end to the rising tide of tobacco smoking which has gripped the UK over the last half year.

The tobacco control zealots have been freaking out recently due to the one percent upswing in smoking prevalence apparent in the last quarter, and have been begging Big T to get their medicinal products onto the market, quite a change from what we saw three years ago!

The vapers whose stockpiles are still at a reasonable size have recently made a killing by selling their “past the sell by dated” stocks on the black market, as there has been no new stock except the bath-tub product, which has proven unreliable in safety and formulation. Last May saw a raid closing the last of the old suppliers who had resisted being either taken over or closing voluntarily, and had continued to manufacture the “quality” e-juices that they made their name supplying. The notorious black market trader known only as “Onceupon” has spent the last 4 weeks on the run with the MHRA in full cry chasing him, his recent capture and jailing was greeted with dismay amongst the vaping community.

Review of the new Big T products.

Form Factor.

Both products are of a similar form, they are basically a tapering cylinder, 12mm wide dropping to 6mm wide at the mouth piece. The colouration is surprising in that they are both similarly shaded in pale green and grey hoops for 25% of their length the rest of the body being taken up by the required medical texts and warnings.

Electronics.

It was a very hard job getting into both of these offerings without shattering them completely, they are made of a rigid plastic, and some heavy duty glues which make refilling or even recharging of the battery impossible without some specialised equipment. In both cases, the electronics themselves are set in a potting compound which encloses the poor quality switch (which failed on one of the ten samples of product A), as well as the battery. There is no possibility yet discovered, of retrofitting either a better battery or a larger liquid nicotine reservoir. However some enterprising young chemists have tweeted that they are experimenting with solutes for these potting compounds. We continue to wait for news on this front.

Vapour & Flavour.

As expected the vapour in these m-cigs is thin and it is almost impossible to blow vapour-rings, let alone get a good cloud around you.

As mandated the two flavours available are vanilla and neutral. The vanilla in type A is a full robust flavour whilst the type B’s vanilla is hinted at rather than fully expressed. The neutral flavours are identical and both types display a full house of the required “meh”! A chemical analysis, whilst incomplete has shown that there is PG and traces of VG, with another proprietary carrier in the cartridge as well. The nicotine content tested out at an amazing 1.2% in both of the “high” m-cigs, and at 0.6% in the standard m-cigs.

Conclusion.

Hide your PVs and bath-tub juices, use them in secret, and be wary of what you tell your doctor. The meh-cigs are here! (And I’m off to the tobacconist)

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About mdolphins

Hotelier, Vaper, husband.

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